Hebrews 12.14-15
14 Strive for peace with everyone,
and for the holiness without which
no one will see the Lord.
15 See to it that no one fails
to obtain the grace of God;
that no “root of bitterness”
springs up and causes trouble,
and by it many become defiled;
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When I go into service, sacrifice, relationships, or anything else in life while carrying expectations, I need to beware, for I am setting up others, and myself, for the wrath of my entitlement and selfishness.
Expectations are
premeditated resentments.
When I have expectations, especially unspoken ones or ones that I don’t even realize I have, my heart will react with resentment when I don’t get what I feel I deserved or was entitled to. Maybe I felt as if someone should have known better, or that my expectations were obvious or that it was their responsibility. Whatever the reason, I’ve convinced myself that I was wronged and I am owed, and now I will, at least in my heart, make them pay by punishing them.
Resentment is indeed a form of punishment. It’s also a form of self-defense. I am punishing those who have hurt me, and I am protecting myself from being disrespected again. But Christ has already paid for their sin, just as He has paid for my sin. Christ, as well, is my defense and my fortress. I don’t need to live in resentment to punish others, nor to protect me from the infliction of others. Not only that, but I myself have both hurt Christ and disrespected Him with my sin, yet it didn’t stop Him from loving me, serving me, and forgiving me (Ephesians 4.32).
The scary thing is that resentment is particularly alluring when I’ve done as well as I can to do what’s right, yet I don’t receive the response I hoped for. Rejection or a lack of recognition is especially painful to my pride and ego when I have sacrificed much, and I should know that resentment is creeping just around the corner. I need to be deathly afraid of this.
Resentment is a
common and special temptation
reserved for people
who serve God well.
-Colin Smith
But the Gospel reminds me that I have all that I need in Christ. I can ask myself, “what is it that I am not getting from this person that I don’t already have in Christ?” If I feel that someone has sinned against me, I can ask, “what is it about their sin that makes me believe that the blood of Christ was not enough to cover their sin? Why must I make them pay further with my resentment?”
Read Again Out Loud and Make it into a Prayer:
Hebrews 12.14-15
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Forgive Our Sins as We Forgive
Rosamond Herklots, 1969
Personalize and Read or Pray Aloud:
‘Forgive our sins as we forgive,’
You taught us, Lord, to pray.
But You alone can grant us grace
to live the words we say.
How can Your pardon reach and bless
The unforgiving heart
That broods on wrongs and will not let
old bitterness depart?
In blazing light Your cross reveals
The truth we dimly knew.
What trivial debts are owed to us,
How great our debt to You!
Lord, cleanse the depths within our souls
And bid resentment cease;
Then, bound to all in bonds of love,
our lives will spread Your peace
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Pray Aloud:
May our Lord Jesus Christ
Be near me to defend me,
Within me to refresh me,
Around me to preserve me,
Before me to guide me,
Behind me to justify me,
Above me to bless me;
Who lives and reigns
with the Father and the Holy Spirit,
One God, now and forever.
-Anonymous, 10th Century Irish Manuscript
Father, help __________
to glorify You in every way.
Reveal Your beauty in _________
as it is in Heaven.
Give _________ daily bread,
and thank You for Your undeserved mercy.
Help us to forgive others who have hurt us.
Keep __________heart soft for You,
for Your Word, for prayer,
and for those that You put in their life,
that they may keep their heart
from evil and sin.
Thank You for Your grace and mercy.
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